


Loyal to the End

by Lady_Ganesh



Category: Original Work
Genre: Exile, IN SPACE!, Love Confessions, Loyalty, M/M, Soul Bond, Suicidal Thoughts, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Ganesh/pseuds/Lady_Ganesh
Summary: There is nothing left...almost nothing.





	Loyal to the End

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yhlee (etothey)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/etothey/gifts).



Destan looked at the blaster again and cursed his own cowardice.

The solution was easy enough, of course. It was just--

It shouldn't be so hard, to let go of your life, when your life has been rendered meaningless.

But still, every time Destan picked up the blaster ( _it should be easy, so easy_ ) he held it, stared at it, and put it back down.

Destan knew himself to be a coward. Marek would be free the moment he pulled the trigger. All he was doing was keeping his paladin in place. If Destan was gone and the soulbond dissolved, Marek would be free, to live wherever he wished, to work as a mercenary, a scholar, a farmer. To leave the planet with no attachments. No longer the bondmate to a king in exile, who could not escape the infamy of the fallen throne. A powerless fool who didn't even have the courage to end it.

"Sire?"

The only person left on the planet to address him so. Destan had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't heard the door to their shabby room slide open. "Marek," he said. "You don't have to--"

"You've said as much, Sire," Marek said, calmly. "But as I've told you before, I've known you by that name for all of my life, and it's hard to break the habit."

"Someday you'll slip and say it in public, and we'll both be ruined."

"I haven't yet," Marek said casually, pulling his jacket off and dropping it on the bed. "The good news is, I sold the last of the jewels. We've enough credits to get us off-planet. It'll be easier for us, then."

This was the time to do it, then. No more hesitating. No more cowardice. He swallowed. The least he could do was tell Marek the truth, and look him in the eye as he did it. "You should go on without me."

Marek considered his words in silence for a moment. "I have been bonded to you since my birth, Sire."

"I know," Destan said. "But there is no Kingdom, Marek. No duty. You should not be trapped at my side for the rest of your life."

"It is no trap," Marek said, his voice low and serious. "Sire, if you are--"

"You never chose this life," Destan said. "Any of this. There's no need to--the Kingdom is gone. I might as well fade with it."

Marek’s eyes widened at his last sentence. He tensed. "You are not serious."

"I am," he said.

Marek seized the blaster. "I'm taking this away until you can be trusted again," he said.

"Don't be ridiculous," Destan said, grabbing at it, to little effect--the hours Marek spent in combat training more than obvious. "I can't--you can do anything you wish with your life, once I am gone."

"What life do I have without you?" Marek asked, his voice rising.

"A free one," Destan said.

Marek's dark eyes were lit up with anger. "Free," he said. "Don't be ridiculous."

Destan drew himself up. "You were born for me," he said. "You don't know any better. This bond has been your life. But if I die--"

"I wouldn't last the hour," Marek said. "Come on. There's no need to linger here. We've the credits to leave, let's leave."

"Don't do this to yourself," Destan said.

You'll have plenty of time to die on the next planet, if you insist on it. But you'll leave here with me." He walked toward the closet that held their few possessions. "Help me pack."

Destan stood his ground. "Please," he said.

Marek turned, violently, to face him. "Is it so unbearable?"

 _"Yes,"_  Destan said, wretchedly. How could it not be? Every day, more news of his fallen kingdom. Every day, feeling more useless, more unnecessary. Every day, asking Marek to be his loyal guardian, to take the burden of the soulbond, with nothing to give in return.

For a moment, shock crossed Marek's face. Then he steeled himself. "I did not realize," he said, slowly.

"I've asked too much of you already," Destan said. "We should have parted long ago."

"I see," he said. "If you wish...if it is your wish. If this is so unbearable to you--if _I_ am so unbearable to you--"

How could Marek not see? "It’s not that. You have been my bondmate since I was a child. There's nothing about you that is unbearable to me. Nothing."

"Then how can you want--how could you want to _leave me--"_  Marek took a breath. Then, very carefully, he kneeled at Destan’s feet.

Destan looked down at Marek’s dark hair, growing longer now than it ever had in the Kingdom. "You're not my subject any more."

"I care nothing for the Kingdom," Marek said. "I never have. I've no desire for freedom, if freedom is a life without you. All I've ever wanted is to be at your side."

"It's the bond--"

"So be it," Marek said, his voice sharp and angry. "If it's the bond, it's the bond. But whatever it is, it lives for you. It dies for you. If we leave this planet, we leave together. If you die, I will follow you." He leaned forward until his forehead all but touched the top of Destan’s boot. "If you ask me, the bond is not why I am at your side. But at your side I remain. If you do not want me there, I will be the one to fall. You have my life, Sire, for as long as I breathe. I...am sorry if you do not want this burden. But my heart's loyalties have never changed."

Destan had only vague memories of the bonding ceremony, of a tiny, wide-eyed baby whose eyes locked on his face with preternatural focus. "He'll take care of you," Father had promised, but it had seemed impossible that something so small and weak could ever protect him.

Now Marek was a head taller. Now Marek had saved his life when his Father's own paladin--his own _bondmate--_ had betrayed him, and had saved him countless times since.

Now Marek was on his knees before him, confessing love beyond the bond.

Destan didn’t know what to say.

"Sire?"

"I cannot be your life," Destan said.

"I want no other," Marek said.

"You've lost everything because of me."

Marek looked up and met his eyes. "Not everything."

Destan hadn't been ready for this. He'd been ready to welcome death, not--

Not this.

"Marek, you--tell me true," he said. "If the Kingdom stood, if you and I were still ruler and paladin. Would you be telling me this?"

Marek chuckled. His dark face colored slightly. "I likely wouldn't have told you this if you hadn't been so foolish," he said. "So almost certainly not."

"You would have been silent for the rest of our days?"

"I don't know," he said. "I might have been."

Destan put his hand on Marek's head. "My paladin," he said. "Devoted to the end."

"Yes."

He stroked Marek's cheek, and Marek closed his eyes, turned his head into the touch. Destan thought, for a moment, of the panthera that had once roamed the palace grounds. "It's not quite fair to me, though, is it? Now your life is in my hands, the burden of it."

"I hadn't thought that far ahead," Marek said, his eyes still closed, his breath puffing air against Destan’s palm. "You frightened me."

"I hadn't thought, either," he said. "I just--I wanted you to live as you wished."

"This is my wish," he said. "I have no other."

He let his finger brush Marek's lips this time. "None at all?"

"Sire," he said, his voice almost breaking.

"I do not mean to be cruel," Destan said. "This is...so new to me." He kneeled down, so that he was face to face with Marek. "Will you promise me one thing?"

"What do you ask of me?"

"If I promise you that I will no longer be so...callous with my own life, will you promise me to live? I am older, and there might yet be enemies to face. If I can live for you, will you live for me, even if I fall?"

Marek smiled a little. "I might be able to do so. But you must prove yourself, first. No more foolishness."

"No more," he vowed. "Do we leave now, or will we linger a bit longer in this hellpit?"

"Do you wish to linger, then?"

"It feels as though you have waited a very long time," he said. Their room might be wretched, but Marek’s presence had always made it more bearable.

"I can wait a bit longer," Marek smiled. "The next transport leaves within the hour, and I'd rather not linger with the spiroaches."

He laughed. "Then we'll leave. But--I won't forget this. I won't forget my promise. I swear to you, Marek."

"I'll have to settle for that, then," Marek said, and for the first time in Destan’s memory--perhaps in their lives--Marek touched him first, lifting his hand to Destan’s cheek. His fingers felt warm.

The transport would have little privacy. For a moment, Destan thought taking his chances with the spiroaches might be worth the trouble. "Can I ask another thing of you?"

"You can," he said. He was still touching Destan’s face as though he was a treasure.

"Once we are free of this planet, I wish to be free of this life. A King no longer. I would be a man, simply that. And you my bonded partner."

"Sire--"

"No more," Destan said. "You are right. We have not lost everything. But...let me treasure what is there, Marek. Let us leave this pain behind, and create something new. Call me by my own name, not the title I hid behind. Let me be yours."

"If you will be mine, then," Marek said, gently, as though he didn't quite believe Destan's words.

"Yes," he said. "Let us leave King Destan and who we once were behind, and find a better future in the stars. No more Sire.”

“No more Sire,” Marek echoed, a little sadly.

“You could call me 'Beloved,' if it suits you.”

Marek’s smile was soft. “Do you think I haven’t been calling you that all this time?”

"Perhaps you will let me call you that as well," Destan said.

Marek's eyes flashed with humor. "Sire?"

"Beloved," he said.

Marek’s hand cupped his cheek. "If it is your will--"

"Let it be my final command," he said, and pressed his lips to Marek's, to seal the vow.


End file.
